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Leasing Direct December 2013 2

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Why I hate Jen Aniston "Viral" for Smartwater

So this how it went - a bunch of admen are sitting at a bar talking about their latest assignment: a video for Smartwater that's guaranteed to go viral. Impossible? No, they say, we just have to make a video that people can't *not* talk about it. "Idea!" cries the man in skinny jeans (trick description: they're all wearing skinny jeans) "Let's make a video that references every viral video ever made!" "Brilliant!" cries the guy with the plastic glasses, "And we can have Jennifer Aniston star in it!" "Yesss!"

Granted, I have an authority problem, but don't tell me what I have to talk about, I'll talk about it (and talk and talk and talk) if you do excellent work that's, surprise!, worth talking about. It is gimmicky, inauthentic and manipulative. This is video can just as easily been about Dove deodorant starring Fergie - it's not about Smartwater and it's not about Jen. It has no story. It has no personality. All it has is a grab bag full of internet memes.

Oh, and all those videos you mention? They went viral because they were real stories, about real people - it's that solid authenticity that we love to watch. Exploiting these pure stories for your bottom line just makes you seem like soul-sucking, corporate drones. Kinda counterproductive, don't ya think?

Last word: you can make videos, but people make them viral.

Ah, If Only We Can Live Up To Our Inspirations

Meet Peter H. Reynolds

Peter has been my favorite children's author/illustrator for a while now. (Well if you want to get technical, he's been my favorite since I picked up his book Ish at a small bookstore in Bermuda 4 years ago.) His one running theme is "keep making your mark", inspiring chilren (and me!) to explore their creativity.

He also owns and runs Fablevision, "
a turn-key educational media and technology developer." Check out their site for some amazing and adorable stuff they've done.

Chanie's Resume

Click on image to enlarge:

Click here for a downloadable PDF. (Caution! Will expire in 7 days.)

So What If I'm a Little Video Happy... This Is Cool!

Leave it to Betty

Omg! What a Funny Night It's Been

What I Want for My Birfday

Took the kiddies (yes, I am the best auntie ever) to the Agora Gallery to meet the creations of one Nathan Sawaya. Say hello to Nathan:

As you probably guessed he uses Legos as his only medium to create life size sculptures like these:

Cool, right?
Even cooler is his story - he left his attorney job as a "high flying corporate consul" to pursue his passion for art, and, of course Lego. Just imagine what his mother probably told him "You're going to quit your job to play with toys?! How are you going to pay your rent???" Or maybe I'm just thinking of my mother who couldn't understand that we were going to a proper fine arts gallery - even though Nathan's creations are constructed entirely of toys, they are, undoubtedly, art.

How Awesome Are These?

Is it weird that I want to buy an iMac just so I can buy this? You can get them at this Etsy shop.

Guess What I Just Saw?

So what if I'm a little late to the game? This song is freaking awesome.

So Funny I Had to Share

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the viole nt urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always. . .
Wendi Aarons
Austin , T X

Via Velina's Blog. She writes as an intro: "This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter."

Pretty as a Picture

So remember when I introduced you to Gretchen from Chichiboulie?
Well, finally, here is the painting she's done for me - isn't it darling? I had it done for my brother and sister in law when their second baby boy was born. I wanted something mischievous and really boyish - I fell in love with the idea of an old fashioned motorbike and sidecar in bright cherry red. Gretchen was totally amazing and really brought my ideas to life.

Thanks Gretchen for an fantastic job!

Check out all of Gretchen's stuff here.

Cool Right?

How genius are these? Water & tear resistant.
I want one of each.
You can get them here.